Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who in this land is fairest of all?
It answered: You, my queen, are fair; it is true.
But Snow-White is a thousand times fairer than you.
The queen took fright and turned yellow and green with envy. From that hour on whenever she looked at Snow-White her heart turned over inside her body, so great was her hatred for the girl. The envy and pride grew ever greater, like a weed in her heart, until she had no peace day and night.
-Snow White, Grimm’s Fairytales
“Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos. That is the way we all see …each other in life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition– all such distortions within our own egos– condition our vision of those in relation to us. Add to those distortions to our own egos the corresponding distortions in the egos of others, and you see how cloudy the glass must become through which we look at each other. That’s how it is in all living relationships except when there is that rare case of two people who love intensely enough to burn through all those layers of opacity and see each other’s naked hearts.”
― Tennessee Williams
It is staggering to think that even still in the year 2016, so much of a woman’s sense of worth and identity is deeply connected to her physical appearance. It is so much a part of our culture and heritage, that many of us women are not even aware of our imprisonment to a value system that is as ancient as the first human civilizations. Throughout the history of humanity, woman of countless cultures and generations have found themselves living in a world dominated by men, where they have had very little power or influence. As a result, their appearance was often the only thing that gave them any sense of significance. Women used their beauty and sexuality to manipulate, compete and control as a basic survival tactic in a world where their intelligence, compassion, resourcefulness, creativity, and all other assets were not recognized or valued by society. I believe this has had a profound impact on every woman that is alive today. We carry this history in our DNA. We carry those experiences of our ancestors and we still have difficulty breaking free of it and not basing our self worth on what we see in the mirror. The saddest part of this is how our diminished self worth and has made us behave towards other women, who ultimately are suffering from the same lack of self love, whether they know it or not. We have come so far in our move towards feminism and empowerment of women, yet we still have so much further to go. We still grasp desperately to youth and beauty and go to great lengths to reverse or stall a process that is inevitable and the most natural part of being human. We desperately cling to something we can never keep, and place impossible standards and requirements on ourselves and others. It’s insanity really.
Everyone appreciates beauty. Beauty is a gift of nature and it is a wonderful thing that should be celebrated. I am a fashion blogger/stylist after all! I love beautiful things, people and aesthetic. I admire and appreciate a beautiful woman as much as anyone else, but are we so superficial that that is as deep as it goes? Does a beautiful women truly deserve the level of praise, attention and admiration that we place on her just because she was blessed with exceptional DNA? When did we start to value a woman’s beauty more than a woman’s accomplishments? It’s scary to say, but I think it has always been this way. I think we are still stuck here, and it is more than time to break free of these shackles ladies! It is time to look a little deeper! It is time to see each other for who we truly are and what we have actually accomplished in life, and praise those things. By all means, embrace beauty and celebrate it in yourself and others, but let’s not put it above all else. Let us not praise beauty above character and integrity. Unfortunately the list is way to long of women we as a society are putting up on pedestals for their beauty alone, even when their character and integrity are questionable at best. This is incredibly sad, when there is a plethora of women in history that have accomplished incredible things, yet most of us have never heard of them because they were not notably beautiful and their accomplishments were undervalued simply because they were women. When someone mentions Audrey Hepburn, what comes to mind? Like most people you probably think of her exceptional beauty and fame as an actress. Did you know that she was an accomplished ballerina as well as a Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF (United Nation’s Children’s Fund) since 1954? Did you know she was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in recognition of her incredible contributions to UNICEF? Neither did I. We need to turn this around.
Ladies, I’m asking you to celebrate each other’s accomplishments and find who we actually are as people. And for goodness sake, let’s please stop comparing and competing with one another and putting each other down! Need I even say it? Confident women raise each other up and support one another. This is how we build a better world. This is how we encourage the next generation of girls to want to be more than just beautiful. This is how we teach the next generation of boys to value women for who they are, not for their appearance. #WomenSupportingWomen is not a fad or a trend. It is a way of life and it is here to stay. Get on board. Join the tribe. I’ve got your back, have you got mine? We can accomplish so much more if we work together and support one another.
<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/164028819″>Mirror, Mirror</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/electricmonkmedia”>Electric Monk Media</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a>.</p>
STYLING: Patron of Dreams